


Communication is key

by Lady_Rosa



Category: Bridgerton (TV)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fix-It, Fixing THAT scene, NO rape, POV Daphne, POV Simon, angsty, but kinda hopeful ending, i don't know yet, maybe there will be a second part, still a fight between these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:08:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Rosa/pseuds/Lady_Rosa
Summary: Daphne finds out how sex works and what it takes to make a baby and what doesn't make a baby. She confronts Simon after sex. No rape.
Relationships: Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Basset
Comments: 23
Kudos: 233





	Communication is key

**Author's Note:**

> so I was binging the show and I really liked it if not for the rape scene. So I decided to fix it and still let them have a fight about the children issue. I used some lines from the show in the fight, you probably will recognise them. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Daphne was upset. The maid had told her the truth, half horrified that task fell to her; that her mother hadn't prepared her better. And Simon, he... he had lied. It wasn't that he couldn't have children. He wasn't incapable of siring them as he had alluded.

She felt like a fool. Being worried about him being pained seeing her with the toddlers and the children of the village. About him feeling guilty that he couldn't give her what she wanted so much. And he had lied and kept silent. It made her angry. So angry. He had taken all of her and the one thing she wanted, he refused to give. For once she wished she was a man, able to take what they wanted and refuse what they didn't wish to give.

Why was Simon like that? He knew how much she wished for children. How could he hurt her like that? She had thought he felt affection and love for her. But then how he could be so cruel as to refuse her what would make her happy? Had she been so wrong when assessing his character? What else had he lied about?

She felt hurt and betrayed where last night she had felt so happy and content. And when she though about tonight, she shivered in dread. How could she perform such acts, marital acts with him when she couldn't trust him anymore? How did women do this? Daphne wasn't so naïve to believe that every marriage was like her parents, with mutual love and respect. She had thought she had found the same with her husband Simon but apparently not. Simon turned out be far more cruel than she could have ever imagine anyone to be.

She sat through dinner, not very hungry but eating as to avoid any questions, in her head a plan. She would just behave like he did. Taking what she wanted and he would just have to deal with it. For once she would do something for herself and go after her prize herself.

When he asked her if all was well during dinner, she pretended and said that she was just a bit tired. How dare he pretend to love her, to care and then be so cruel to her? But, a thought came to her, wasn't her plan cruel as well? If she forced him, she was no better than her first suitor Lord Berbrooke in that garden not so long ago, who had tried to force her. She had punched him and Simon had found them and their plan to fool Lady Whistledown and the entire ton had hatched. Did she not owe it to her husband for being her general in battle against the ton to respect his own feelings about children and at least first talk to him before ruining her marriage with a plan of revenge no matter her own feelings of betrayal and humiliation?

So after they had performed their marital acts together she asked him: “Why do you always do this?”

He flinched, surprised at her question.”What do you mean, darling?”

Maybe she was too coy to directly ask him, he hoped. He had been dreading that conversation since the start of their marriage, when he had realised that she had no idea about the matters of physical coupling. In a way, he had been lucky, she had been so innocent, so naïve in the ways of the world that it had been easy to deceive her. It had been easier than explaining.

But he had no luck as she answered his question: “You know what I mean. You don't finish inside me.” Daphnes voice had turned stern, angry. “It is not that you _can't_ have children, it is that you _won't,_ is it?.”

He sighed. And there it was. That silent accusation, telling him he wasn't enough. That she wished for a child, despite him warning her that wouldn't give her one. How he wished the vow would make him physically unable to father a child, so he wouldn't have had cause to lie to her. He had no interest of furthering his line, his father had driven that desire out by the time he had been eight and visited his father with Lady Danbury. His father only saw a failure when he saw his son. And now his wife, his best friend would also see him a failure and hate him for it. It is true, he was far from the perfect husband she deserved. But he couldn't be what she wanted, couldn't give her what she needed to be happy. He had hoped he alone was enough and that her wish for a child would diminish as time went on. In a way he had embrace being different than his father, not wanting to marry and not wanting to continue his family line with an heir. There would be no Duke of Hastings after him. It was what he had become, the last Duke. He didn't know if he could change, if he even wanted to change. Their time together had been nice, peaceful, even happy and he would grief for it, in his own way when he was alone.

“You are right, Daphne. But it doesn't change anything. I will not give you children. I cannot.”, he answered as harsh as he could and hoped that it would be the end of that discussion, that she would accept his word without any more need for explanation. She stood, taking her nightgown from the floor where it had fallen next to the bed and putting it back on, before pacing the room.

“You used me.”, she accussed, loudly. “You took everything from me, my future. You lied to me.”

“I told you I cannot give you children. I warned you.”, he said, desperate to make her understand, sitting up on the bed. He had thought, she understood, even though she had no knowledge of marital relations. He had thought, he was enough.

“Cannot and will not are two entirely different things.” Her voice shook in anger and frustration and dare he say it, betrayal. He hadn't lied. He told her, there would be no children. He knew, it wouldn't be easy for her, but he had thought in time the longing for a child of her own would diminish, leaving her, if not happy at least content.

“I told you on that duelling field, why I would not marry you, that I could not have children, yet you insisted. I was prepared to die rather than marrying you and taking your dream away. That is how much I love you. You insisted that we marry, even though there would be no children blessing our union.” he said trying to make her understand. He couldn't break his word. His honour was all he ever had. He had worked so hard to make himself into the man he was today and still, he despaired, it wasn't enough.

Daphne sat down on the chair next to her vanity with her back to him, her posture stiff. “I trusted you. And you took advantage.” Her anger was gone, there was only hurt in her voice. He wanted to comfort her, he never wanted to hurt her.

“I cannot have children.”, he said, getting desperate. He already had broken his vow not to marry, he couldn't break the other more important part. He just couldn't. It was too important. He shouldn't have given in, married her but he had been selfish and had wanted her. As he had said to the Queen, it had taken the presence of the Prince of Prussia for him to realise his feelings. But he couldn't break his vow.

“I never wanted to hurt you.”, he said, hoping for forgiveness and an end to this dreadful and hurtful discussion.

“But you did and you do. At least tell me why.”, Her voice now hopeless, broken. He never wanted that. How could he make up for it?

“I... I... there... I _cannot_ have children. I will not have children.” How could he explain it to her without opening old scared wounds and bring up buried painful memories. He had never talked to anybody about his father, about what had happened between them. Their mutual hatred. His only way of getting revenge. How could Daphne understand, her family and home so full of warmth and love.

“If not a child, then at least you owe me an explanation.” she turned around on her chair, once again facing him and she suddenly sounded angry again and he didn't want her to hate him but he couldn't give her what she wanted, he had sworn an oath. To his father on his deathbed. It had been an angry, revengeful oath but an oath still. And if he broke his word, then his honour was worthless. And he was even more a failure, he couldn't even keep his word. But he knew, if he stayed silent and told her nothing, he would lose her for sure. He might lose her anyway but if he told her there was a bigger chance she would stay by his side. He didn't want to be alone, he had been alone so much already. So he did the hardest and most difficult thing he had ever done. He trusted her and told her the truth, the whole sordid truth.

He told her about his father, how his father had been so disappointed by a son less than perfect, how that disappointment had turned into hatred by the time Simon had turned eight if not earlier. How he had tried and tried and tried yet again to win his fathers approval and love, only to fail yet again. How he had grown angry and had started to hate his father and when the old man was on his deathbed, he had disappointed him one last time, this time in revenge and anger. How his revenge was the only thing he had that had kept him going and still does.

Then how they had met at that first ball, crashing into each other and how he struggled to keep her at bay, how he had fought his attraction to her by being arrogant and talking her down, knowing he could never marry because of his vow to not marry and sire children so the line of the Duke of Hastings ended with him. How he would have died for her, loving her and she still loving him, rather than condemning her to a life without children. How she had saved his life that day, because Anthony had been shooting to kill.

Daphne was silent for a long time after that. He could feel her thinking, judging him and he knew he was found wanting as always. She would leave, maybe not today or tomorrow but in time, and he would be alone. And he dreaded the fact, now knowing what he missed, would miss in the future.

It had been easy before, he never knew the warmth of a family, he had been so amazed that first dinner at the Bridgerton's that even the children as small as Gregory and Hyacinth would eat with them. The lady of the house, his mother-in-law now, had appeared embarrassed by the fact that she liked her children but he saw the proud look in her face when she looked at her children. And now all that was gone. He shivered.

“Simon, why lie to me? Were we not allied forces in the battles against the ton long before there were feelings involved?”, his wife asked. Her voice shook with unshed tears, hurt and betrayal mixed into each other.

Why had he lied? He had been afraid, afraid of death, afraid to lose her, afraid to hurt her. He was a coward, plain and simple and it was clear once more that she deserved so much more than him. But she chose this, she chose him. He had finally been enough. And he hadn't wanted to lose that feeling of belonging.

“I... It is not a lie. I cannot have children if I keep my vow.”, he said, defeated.

“I know. It just hurts.” she answered in the same tone of voice and he didn't know how to go on but when she joined him in their bed again a few minutes later, he felt hopeful again for their future together.

**Author's Note:**

> it is rather an open ending with nothing really resolved but if I get a good idea for a second part I might just write it.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this one.


End file.
